Hello, my name is Shawn. This is where I put things. This site has been active since 2002. A lot has changed since then but basically I'm still writing ridiculous articles about ridiculous things. You can also look at my I opened up a Silk soy yogurt for lunch the other day and noticed their new top. The foil wrapper says “Have we lost our lid?” in reference to the lack of a plastic top in addition to the foil wrapper. The lid goes on to read “Precisely. Losing our lid saves 100,000 pounds of plastic annually…” Bravo. Good move. My only question is why you ever even had a lid to begin with but hey, glad you guys finally got your shit together and saved the world some much unneeded garbage. Even a soulless libertarian like myself can appreciate that.
But that sentence keeps going:
Losing our lid saves 100,000 pounds of plastic annually which is equivalent to planting 68 acres of trees every year!
And this is where I’m lost. Perhaps I’m ignorant to the conversion rates in environmento-land but how exactly is a lack of 100,000 pounds of plastic equate to planting 68 acres of trees? There’s definitely some algebra missing from this yogurt lid, ‘cause I don’t think I’m such an idiot for not understanding this. I’m fairly certain plastic isn’t made from trees. Otherwise it would be called wood. This is like me saying:
I’ve quit smoking for almost 2 years which is equivalent to 17 chocolate martinis a day!
or
I stopped beating my wife which is equivalent to being a Vietnam war hero!
You can say any of those things, but you better be able to back that shit up. But as we continue down the lid, we start to realize the yogurt lid’s true game.
Every loving spoonful of Silk Cultured Soy is powered by the wind!
Basically they’re just jamming this lid full of as many environmentalist clichés as they can, hoping desperately one of them will stick long enough so that chick at the organic food store with the bandana and Birkenstocks will pick it up and not think too hard.
What’s even more entertaining about the “Please like me” lid is the fact that wind power slaughters birds like crazy. So enjoy your yogurt and don’t mind the cute bald eagles that were mangled for your yogurt pleasure!
(For what it’s worth I prefer WholeSoy for my soy yogurt needs)